As I begin to write this post, I am sitting at Starbucks, tired from working all day, feeling sick and not looking forward to the time changing tomorrow and losing an hour of much needed sleep I hardly get when I work 11 hours a day. I love working in the restaurant industry and I don't think I'll ever work in any other field but days like today make me wonder why I chose this field. Weekends are usually when most people are off of work, spending time with family, shopping, attending sporting events and eating out. You would think that would put most people in a good mood. Not the people that come into my restaurant! For some reason it is during the weekends, especially after church on Sundays, when people are just downright mean! They just want to complain and will find any reason to storm up to the front of the restaurant and demand, "I want to speak with the manager!" After hearing complaint after complaint today and feeling like the harder I worked, the more upset people became I just wanted to give up on being nice. I wanted to give up and trying to help anyone at all, I was just feeling discouraged.
Discouraged is probably the best word to describe how I have been feeling about everything lately. Work in general is just not what it was in DFW, it's literally a different world out here in Lubbock, (I know that sounds dramatic but it's the truth!) I don't even feel like I work for the same company. I just feel defeated, I don't want to try anymore and I have lost most of my enthusiasm for my job. I just feel discouraged.
The past couple of months have just been a dry patch for me and it's hard to remain strong and keep telling myself, "God's got a plan! I'm here for a reason! It's going to get worse before it gets better!" But WHEN?! Hasn't it been long enough yet? How much longer will things go on like this? Well, as God would have it, my reading plan brought me to the book of Numbers today...yes, right in the middle where the Israelites are whining and complaining...ok, God I get it! I just have to laugh sometimes at the way God looks at me and says, "Really?" That's what I imagine him saying anyway because that's probably what I would say.
It's so amazing the way God gives us just an ounce of encouragement at exactly the time we need it, not a minute too early and not a second too late. Just last night as I was laying in bed, a friend wrote me and asked, "How are you doing? Spiritually, I mean, I haven't seen a blog post in a while." God was like, "are you going to stop pouting now?" And if you know me, I didn't, I decided to play the self pity card and whine about my situation. So then I got an email from someone at church that simply encouraged me with the truth that God has placed me here, in Lubbock, TX for a reason and He set me apart long before I was even conceived. She shared this verse:
"I chose you before I formed you in the womb;
I set you apart before you were born.I appointed you a prophet to the nations."
-Jeremiah 1:5
Let me tell you, this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I have been reminding myself that God has a plan and He will bring me through and I have been going back to the promises He made when he moved me here and at the beginning of 2013 but sometimes we just need that little bit of encouragement and He knows exactly when those times are!
So I decided to spend the evening at Starbucks reading in Numbers. As I turned on my Slacker Radio (better than Spotify!) literally EVERY song spoke life and truth over me and gave me the exact words of encouragement I needed!!
Ok, God, you DO have a plan. You ARE working things out. You DID place me here for a reason. And you have NOT forgotten me! I did NOT make a mistake and I STILL trust you!
Then I came to Numbers 11,
"...is the Lord's power limited? You will see whether or not what I have promised will happen to you."
-Numbers 11:23
Now, I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with His love. Overwhelmed with His peace and I can rest in His perfect timing. I think that I am going to sleep well tonight, even if it IS an hour less!!
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