I just got back from a very short trip to Lubbock. I flew out there yesterday morning to look for a place to live and move into by Monday...no pressure! This was my first time ever being in Lubbock and I had no idea where to look or what to look for. Since I just moved 3 weeks ago, I was less than motivated to even think about all the stress and work that goes into moving. While I was on the plane I opened up the notepad on my phone and started reading over notes and thoughts I jot down every now and then. I came across a note from April 27, 2012: "I hear God saying-you are about to embark on a new journey, you are about to make a transition into a new season and it will be so much fun!" This was just more confirmation for me that God is at work here, He has it all planned out! Man! You guys, He is SO GOOD, I can't get over it! This gave me more peace about all the things I had to do. I silently prayed: "You are in control, Lord, please take this burden from me, take control. I trust in your plan!
After a long day of driving all around Lubbock and looking at every apartment I passed by, I was getting so discouraged. My big issues were: W/D connections and allowing pets. For some reason, Lubbock either doesn't allow pets or they make it financially impossible for you to have a pet! I was seriously thinking I was going to have to send my boys to live with my parents for a while...while I do my laundry at the laundry mat!! That evening I decided to try visiting a church that was near my hotel. When I got there I immediately realized that I'm going to have to get used to going to a small church that is NOTHING like my church in Dallas. As I was in worship, it seemed like every word of every song was speaking directly to me!! Every song was about trusting God and believing in Him to work things out. Oh my gosh!! Tears were rolling down m face the entire time as 8 other people and I worshipped in this small sanctuary. God was telling me that He was going to provide and take care of me and that I don't have to worry. And He was also showing me that I don't have to be at Gateway Church to worship Him. He is as much God in Lubbock as He is in Dallas. He prepared me for this, you guys!! I can't even put it all into words, He is just AMAZING!
So, what do I do? I start the next day in doubt of course! Ugh, my heart is so ugly without Him!! I didn't want to drive around and look for apartments, I didn't want to talk to people who were spitting out outrageous numbers that I was going to have to pay to have my kids live with me! I didn't want to look at one more dirty, disgusting bathroom. I wanted to give up. Finally, we went to lunch and I went into the bathroom and said "God, I am going to find the perfect place you have for me and you will reveal it to me and confirm that it is the place you have for me, Amen! After lunch, we decided to look at one more place before I had to get back to the airport and if this place wasn't it, I was going to settle for the first place I looked at which didn't make me happy.
We got to the address and it was not a huge complex, maybe about 12 apartments all put together like duplexes. THIS WAS IT!! I could feel it. I had two options: a one bedroom without w/d connections that will be ready by the time I move to Lubbock or a 2 bedroom with w/d connections that will be ready 3 days later, "I'm going to have to settle" I thought. God was like, "Umm...no you're not!" I was thinking. what am I going to do with my stuff for 3 days while I'm working and can't move into my apartment?! "I'll have it ready" is what He told me. And what did I think? "How?" HOW?? How is the the God of the universe who has proven Himself to me time and time again going to prove himself another time? How is He going to work out this small detail when He has already worked out the larger details? What is my problem? Why do I doubt everything? His grace and mercy is just so amazing and I can't believe that He still loves me and still blesses me. So, I got the 2 bedroom, they said will be ready by the 1st, I gotta be at work in Lubbock on the 29th, what am I going to do?? TRUST HIM!! He keeps telling me, "It'll all be ready, it will work out." So, I'm trusting Him, I'm going to do my part and let Him do His...what a concept! He's amazing!
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