I just got back from a very short trip to Lubbock. I flew out there yesterday morning to look for a place to live and move into by Monday...no pressure! This was my first time ever being in Lubbock and I had no idea where to look or what to look for. Since I just moved 3 weeks ago, I was less than motivated to even think about all the stress and work that goes into moving. While I was on the plane I opened up the notepad on my phone and started reading over notes and thoughts I jot down every now and then. I came across a note from April 27, 2012: "I hear God saying-you are about to embark on a new journey, you are about to make a transition into a new season and it will be so much fun!" This was just more confirmation for me that God is at work here, He has it all planned out! Man! You guys, He is SO GOOD, I can't get over it! This gave me more peace about all the things I had to do. I silently prayed: "You are in control, Lord, please take this burden from me, take control. I trust in your plan!
After a long day of driving all around Lubbock and looking at every apartment I passed by, I was getting so discouraged. My big issues were: W/D connections and allowing pets. For some reason, Lubbock either doesn't allow pets or they make it financially impossible for you to have a pet! I was seriously thinking I was going to have to send my boys to live with my parents for a while...while I do my laundry at the laundry mat!! That evening I decided to try visiting a church that was near my hotel. When I got there I immediately realized that I'm going to have to get used to going to a small church that is NOTHING like my church in Dallas. As I was in worship, it seemed like every word of every song was speaking directly to me!! Every song was about trusting God and believing in Him to work things out. Oh my gosh!! Tears were rolling down m face the entire time as 8 other people and I worshipped in this small sanctuary. God was telling me that He was going to provide and take care of me and that I don't have to worry. And He was also showing me that I don't have to be at Gateway Church to worship Him. He is as much God in Lubbock as He is in Dallas. He prepared me for this, you guys!! I can't even put it all into words, He is just AMAZING!
So, what do I do? I start the next day in doubt of course! Ugh, my heart is so ugly without Him!! I didn't want to drive around and look for apartments, I didn't want to talk to people who were spitting out outrageous numbers that I was going to have to pay to have my kids live with me! I didn't want to look at one more dirty, disgusting bathroom. I wanted to give up. Finally, we went to lunch and I went into the bathroom and said "God, I am going to find the perfect place you have for me and you will reveal it to me and confirm that it is the place you have for me, Amen! After lunch, we decided to look at one more place before I had to get back to the airport and if this place wasn't it, I was going to settle for the first place I looked at which didn't make me happy.
We got to the address and it was not a huge complex, maybe about 12 apartments all put together like duplexes. THIS WAS IT!! I could feel it. I had two options: a one bedroom without w/d connections that will be ready by the time I move to Lubbock or a 2 bedroom with w/d connections that will be ready 3 days later, "I'm going to have to settle" I thought. God was like, "Umm...no you're not!" I was thinking. what am I going to do with my stuff for 3 days while I'm working and can't move into my apartment?! "I'll have it ready" is what He told me. And what did I think? "How?" HOW?? How is the the God of the universe who has proven Himself to me time and time again going to prove himself another time? How is He going to work out this small detail when He has already worked out the larger details? What is my problem? Why do I doubt everything? His grace and mercy is just so amazing and I can't believe that He still loves me and still blesses me. So, I got the 2 bedroom, they said will be ready by the 1st, I gotta be at work in Lubbock on the 29th, what am I going to do?? TRUST HIM!! He keeps telling me, "It'll all be ready, it will work out." So, I'm trusting Him, I'm going to do my part and let Him do His...what a concept! He's amazing!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
I will make this place your home...
When I first started working for Jason's deli I had big hopes and dreams of moving up and advancing quickly. I told God I wanted to be a GM in 3 years from when I got out of training (August 2010). I worked hard and really thought I could do it. And a year went by...nothing. I lost a little motivation and circumstances led me to believe that maybe I should choose another profession or go back to being a server or quit my job and go back to school. Anything that would get me out of this plateau that I felt like was never going to change. I love Jason's deli, it is a GREAT company to work for...it was just that I felt like that was it, as good as it was going get, as far as I could go and I was getting frustrated. I wanted to move up, I wanted to see progress and success. And God knew all of this, I never gave up talking to Him about it! Six more months went by... still nothing.
It was New Year's and as I sat around my parents dining room table with friends and family, we all shared our prayer requests with each other for the coming year. When it came my turn, "A transfer, a promotion or a new job!" was my exact answer. Less than two months later I was transferred to another location. I was not happy. But that's what I wanted, right? That's what I prayed for? It was hard adjusting to a different store and a completely new staff that I didn't know. I hated going to work for about 2 weeks. Then one night I completely surrendered it to the Lord and I kid you not, the next day it was like a completely different place. I enjoyed it, the staff and I got along, I laughed and enjoyed working and I felt comfortable in my new environment. Two months went by and I was bored again. The same thing day after day, I'm in the same position and I don't see any promotion in the new future. Man, waiting is so hard!! And God knows I'm one of the most impatient people on this earth. I remember having a conversation with an old friend a few weeks ago and they were just asking how life was going and what was new. They asked about work and I explained my frustration and just that I was waiting for something to come up. They asked if I have a boyfriend and I explained that God has not brought along Prince Charming yet but I'm just waiting. And they kinds laughed and said "You're just waiting for everything, aren't you?" I didn't find it very funny but I thought, I have been in this season of waiting for a long time now!
We go through seasons in life just like seasons in the weather. And sometimes they last a while and sometimes they aren't very long at all. And in each season God is teaching or revealing something to us. I know sometimes I want to hurry up and move on when all He wants is for me to wait on Him and learn to trust Him and be patient. That is something He has obviously been teaching me lately and it's a hard thing for me to learn. I love seeing the pieces come together as He works and reveals just one more part of the big picture. He amazes me more and more and I can't help but fall apart in His presence and just sit in awe of Him.
Three more months go by...Friday morning I was at work and my District Manager came in and offered me a promotion. He told me that I would have to move to Lubbock, we discussed a few more details and I asked him if I could take the weekend to think about it and get back to him on Monday. He said, "I need an answer in 2 hours." Ok then, 2 hours it is!! I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, mostly excitement, that I could not focus on anything. I called my dad and he did some quick research on Lubbock, meanwhile I'm trying to work and process all these things in my mind. "God, what do I do? Is this it? Is this what I've been praying for? Is it time for me to move on?" With some many things going through my mind, I just felt His peace settle deep in my heart and I knew this was it. I called my DM and accepted his offer and he said, "Great! We'll get you moved in about 10 days!" All I could do was laugh, all that time I spent waiting is going to catch up with me and I gotta be ready to hit the ground running!!
So, I'm moving to Lubbock. I'm going to pick up and leave this little life I've established for myself and start all over again. I'm one step away from pursuing my big dream of having my own deli and I'm one step closer to the destiny God has for me. Today God gave me the word "Home". I feel like He's telling me that this is going to be my home. This is where I'm going to settle for good. And as long as I'm with HIM, that's perfectly fine with me!
"Hold on to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along, just know you’re not alone. Cause I’m gonna make this place your home." -Phillip Phillips
This is a song God gave to me today as He was speaking to me about "Home":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCVGCICiToM
I love you all, thanks for reading!
It was New Year's and as I sat around my parents dining room table with friends and family, we all shared our prayer requests with each other for the coming year. When it came my turn, "A transfer, a promotion or a new job!" was my exact answer. Less than two months later I was transferred to another location. I was not happy. But that's what I wanted, right? That's what I prayed for? It was hard adjusting to a different store and a completely new staff that I didn't know. I hated going to work for about 2 weeks. Then one night I completely surrendered it to the Lord and I kid you not, the next day it was like a completely different place. I enjoyed it, the staff and I got along, I laughed and enjoyed working and I felt comfortable in my new environment. Two months went by and I was bored again. The same thing day after day, I'm in the same position and I don't see any promotion in the new future. Man, waiting is so hard!! And God knows I'm one of the most impatient people on this earth. I remember having a conversation with an old friend a few weeks ago and they were just asking how life was going and what was new. They asked about work and I explained my frustration and just that I was waiting for something to come up. They asked if I have a boyfriend and I explained that God has not brought along Prince Charming yet but I'm just waiting. And they kinds laughed and said "You're just waiting for everything, aren't you?" I didn't find it very funny but I thought, I have been in this season of waiting for a long time now!
We go through seasons in life just like seasons in the weather. And sometimes they last a while and sometimes they aren't very long at all. And in each season God is teaching or revealing something to us. I know sometimes I want to hurry up and move on when all He wants is for me to wait on Him and learn to trust Him and be patient. That is something He has obviously been teaching me lately and it's a hard thing for me to learn. I love seeing the pieces come together as He works and reveals just one more part of the big picture. He amazes me more and more and I can't help but fall apart in His presence and just sit in awe of Him.
Three more months go by...Friday morning I was at work and my District Manager came in and offered me a promotion. He told me that I would have to move to Lubbock, we discussed a few more details and I asked him if I could take the weekend to think about it and get back to him on Monday. He said, "I need an answer in 2 hours." Ok then, 2 hours it is!! I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, mostly excitement, that I could not focus on anything. I called my dad and he did some quick research on Lubbock, meanwhile I'm trying to work and process all these things in my mind. "God, what do I do? Is this it? Is this what I've been praying for? Is it time for me to move on?" With some many things going through my mind, I just felt His peace settle deep in my heart and I knew this was it. I called my DM and accepted his offer and he said, "Great! We'll get you moved in about 10 days!" All I could do was laugh, all that time I spent waiting is going to catch up with me and I gotta be ready to hit the ground running!!
So, I'm moving to Lubbock. I'm going to pick up and leave this little life I've established for myself and start all over again. I'm one step away from pursuing my big dream of having my own deli and I'm one step closer to the destiny God has for me. Today God gave me the word "Home". I feel like He's telling me that this is going to be my home. This is where I'm going to settle for good. And as long as I'm with HIM, that's perfectly fine with me!
"Hold on to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road. And although this wave is stringing us along, just know you’re not alone. Cause I’m gonna make this place your home." -Phillip Phillips
This is a song God gave to me today as He was speaking to me about "Home":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCVGCICiToM
I love you all, thanks for reading!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Identity: Pricless Pearl
About a year ago I got involved in a mentor program through my church. It was one of the best things I have done. My mentor was amazing and she challenged me to grow in my faith and my relationship with God and I grew so much in those 9 months.I will never forget one of the first exercises we did was on identity. Of course I read in the Bible that we are all sons and daughters of God because He adopts us into His kingdom. I always read on keychains and bookmarks that 'Jesus loves me' so it had to be true. But this one thing that really opened my eyes and helped me to see things more clearer. My mentor told me to take a piece of paper and write some words that describe how I see myself and then pray and ask God how he sees me and to write those words down. That night I went home and as I sat on my bed, I took out a piece of paper and started to think about how I saw myself. I began to write: Broken, bruised, scarred, ashamed, shy, quiet, afraid, not good enough, not strong enough. Then I closed me eyes and asked to God to reveal to me how He sees me. Then I began to write: Precious daughter, beautiful in His sight, "Little Lamb", washed clean, forgiven and set free. As tears began to roll down my cheeks, I looked at both lists, they were complete opposites! And for each word I had, He had one to cancel it! "Little Lamb" stood out to me because that is the meaning of the name RACHEL and when I picture a little lamb I picture a pure, white lamb. And when he gave me 'washed clean', He gave me Psalms 32:1-2 Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
As I just soaked in His love and His presence that evening, I began to see myself in a whole new way. I had a new identity and I knew exactly who I was in Christ and no one could ever take that away from me.
A few months later, God was just reminding me of who I was and speaking to me more about my identity. I remember I was at a retreat and I can't tell you the speaker or what the message was about but God just whispered to me, "You are a priceless pearl." If you don't know how pearls are made, it actually pretty amazing. Pearls are formed when something gets inside a clam (usually a grain of sand) and as a defense mechanism the clam releases a fluid to coat the irritant. It will layer it and layer it with this fluid until it becomes a pearl. Of course we've seen many different shapes and sizes and colors of pearls but only about 5% of pearls are perfect, quality pearls. This really settled in my heart and kind of became my theme for my life and my identity in Him.
Therefore, it is the name of my new blog!
I love you all and HE loves you more than you'll ever know!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)