I am the oldest of 4 kids and I have always been the one to set the example and "pave the way" as my mom always put it. I always did things first and naturally my brother and then my sisters would follow. I was the first to learn to drive and get a car, the first to graduate high school then college, the first to get a job, the first to move away, the first to get a boyfriend, etc. As we got older that was no longer the case and at first that was hard for me. I had selfish thoughts like "I'm supposed to be the one to do that first" or "I'm supposed to make my parents proud like that". But I had to quickly learn that just because that's how it was for the first 20 or so years of my life, that doesn't mean that's how it's going to be for the rest of my life. God has a specific plan for each of us and doesn't always happen according to our timeline.
I had this picture in my head of how my life would go and exactly when it would all happen and how it would happen. I had an idea of how old I would be when I got married, had kids, etc. Too bad that didn't match up with His plan!
I experienced a little bit of this in my professional life as well, I thought that just because I had worked with the company longer or had more experience in the restaurant industry, I should be in higher position or be getting paid more money. All of this was very humbling for me and I struggled with it for a while. My selfish pride always leads me to a place where I am unhappy and wondering if God had forgotten about the "plan" for my life.
One night, about 8 months ago, as I was laying in bed and feeling very overwhelmed by those feelings of doubt and insecurity, wondering if my life was really going anywhere. I started crying out to God and just asking Him, "God, what are you doing here?". I was feeling particularly frustrated with work and I felt like I was just stuck in this one place and it seemed like I wasn't going to get out or move up. "Why?" "Where are you?" The only thing that bothered me more than the feeling of doubt and wonder was the fact that I was feeling that way. Deep down in my heart I knew God was faithful and I knew He was good. I had seen it in my own life in many ways but just in this one particular circumstance and in this particular time I decided to let my pride take over. And God continued to pursue me and He remained faithful.
The next morning the Lord woke me up at exactly 3:17 a.m., my eyes flung open and He clearly told me, "Good morning! You should read Zephaniah 3:17 and Zechariah 3:7." I hopped out of bed, grabbed my Bible and sat down at my table and read these verses:
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." -Zephaniah 3:17
"This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'If you will walk in my ways and keep my requirement, then you will govern my house and have charge of my courts, and I will give you a place among the standing here." -Zechariah 3:7
Wow! And why did I ever doubt Him? I can't help but laugh, He never ceases to amaze me! The Lord your God is with you...this whole time, even when I was wondering if He was there or what He was doing, HE IS WITH ME. That whole verse just speaks assurance to me but I love the part that says, He will rejoice over you with singing...what a beautiful picture, huh?
And if that wasn't enough, He gave me the verse in Zechariah to speak to me about my professional life, If you will walk in my ways, I will give you a place among the standing here...He makes me smile!
I'm embarrassed to say that I still struggle with this sometimes but I always go back to that place in my journal where He spoke to me about this and I read these verses to remind my that He has NOT forgotten about me or the plan for my life and His timing is perfect.
"...I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." -Jeremiah 29:11
No matter where you are at in your life, God WILL show up and take care of you, bring you back home and fulfill His perfect plan for your life! All you have to do is trust Him with your life and follow His lead, He never disappoints!
